Matt Bors
Comics, Politics & Ridicule

Mike Huckabee’s Nightmare

Mike Huckabee, who said “Jesus wept” as a result of the Supreme Court’s DOMA decision, recently presented Americans with a moral conundrum: “If we’re determined to change the definition of marriage to accommodate how people feel and what they wish to do because of their mutual consent,” he said, “then we should immediately release those incarcerated for practicing polygamy or bigamy.”

He’s right. As long as they aren’t marrying children in a cult ceremony, why not let a few people out of our vast private prison system? That does seem very Christian.

He continued: “And, frankly, let’s make all consensual adult behaviors legal, whether prostitution, assisted suicide, or even drinking 16 ounce sodas in New York City.” Now he’s talking my language. If some polyamorous people want to all marry each other, who cares? I hope gay marriage leads to it. I’m not so sure about soda, however. It’s pretty dangerous to society, but if someone want to drink that stuff in the privacy of their own home, well, who am I to judge their lifestyle.