Matt Bors
Comics, Politics & Ridicule

Bors Blog

There are so many OK Cupid Tumblrs and I love them all. And after you notice how creepy, racist, pathetic, and misogynistic a lot of these people are, let's talk about how a lot of them say they don't brush their teeth daily. Who doesn't brush their teeth daily? You have to brush them shits, people. Brushing your teeth is not a one-and-done thing. It's something you keep at. Like, vigilantly and daily – more than once even. I mean, why not be a creepy dude on the internet who BRUSHES THEIR TEETH. It doesn't take much time for your mouth to smell like shit and no one will want to make out with you. Then you're sad, right? Well, what am I going to tell you next? I'm going to tell you to floss. Because if you don't floss with some regularity, your breath stinks and no one is telling you. Buy some floss for 2013. And you can probably get away with no mouthwash after those two things, but do you really want to risk it? Do you have something to gain by NOT maintaining your mouth as a clean and pristine place? Because cavities are bad and smooching people is fun. But if you don't like smooching and like getting your stank ass mouth drilled up and down and paying for that, then by all means: don't brush your teeth.
12.31.2012 |


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