Matt Bors
Comics, Politics & Ridicule


There’s been a lot of talk over the past two weeks about preserving religious liberty” – at least that of old white male Catholics who believe sex is a dirty thing. Most everyone who bangs, on the other hand, thinks birth control is a completely cool thing, as noted by their lack of ten children. By now you’ve seen the widely circulated statistic that 98% of Catholic women have used birth control in their lives and 2% are virgins and liars.

Now conservatives who don’t think Muslims should be able to build a mosque in New York City think a war is being waged on freedom of religion. While they claim this mandate is not about birth control itself and merely respecting the religious beliefs of others, it really is about birth control, because the moral objection to birth control is rooted in wacky superstition, sex shaming, and controlling women’s bodies. And the only reason that it remains church doctrine is because women are actively barred from having any power in the organization.

So priests are still free to think Catholic women care about a single word they have to say on birth control, but once a church decides to become a giant non-profit corporation that employs thousands of people, many of whom aren’t even religious or completely disagree with a few old farts in Rome, we’re getting a little abstract about just whose religious views are being violated by shifting some numbers on a computer to pay for something.

Female naughty bits are OK and even quite awesome I’d be inclined to say. Women should totally be in charge of running the show down there and birth control and condoms should be given out like candy. Would that encourage sex before marriage or sex for pleasure? I certainly would hope so.”

02.22.2012 |
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