A few blogs turned up evidence of a fringe candidate named Ernest J Pagels, Jr., who is running for the Senate in Wisconsin. The guy doesn’t have a website, but he does have a hard-on for outlawing fun things like porn and being gay. It gets tiresome repeatedly pointing out, but as Ruben Bolling said in a brilliant comic, being anti-gay is gayest thing going on right now. When someone wants to outlaw being gay and porn itself, you really know it’s getting hard for them to navigate their house–what with the hoarded gay porn DVDs they have stacked to the ceiling.
Pagels would also outlaw abortion, but I left out that reference for the sake of making the joke flow better. No doubt Pagels is the type of right-wing christianist who thinks abortion is a holocaust, yet would break every traffic law on the books rushing his unwed teenage daughter to Planned Parenthood upon her admitting that she was impregnated by a black classmate.
Friday: Crazed Sex Poodle