Matt Bors
Comics, Politics & Ridicule


As attention spans become more shriveled than Senator Robert Byrd after a long hot bath, the only way to garner name recognition is through outrageous statements. Joe Wilson, Alan Grayson and a host of other recently unremarkable legislators have all discovered this.

Nowadays a politician must compete with incredibly catchy commercials and YouTube clips of witty and/or drugged-up children to find purchase in your memory. Rational discussion is not the way to go about this.

Cable news serves as their vehicle for blather-spreading, as it loves to nurture itself at the teat of nonsense. No news is relayed on these godforsaken shits shows, only the latest controversial statements of politicians and celebrities along with discussions of whether or not there must be a self-serving apology tour. These matters are only interrupted by the most important world events, such as the helium balloon of a lunatic drifting over Colorado.

Friday: Down at the unemployment office

Yelling Tip: a hot oolong tea with a drop of honey readies the throat for hyperbolic nonsense!

10.21.2009 |


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mattbors@gmail.com