Bors Blog

Literally?

Today on “Face The Nation”, Senator Jon Kyle said Sonia Sotomayor needs to be an impartial judge. Then he elaborated a bit: “And what that means is that she literally has to have a blindfold over her when she decides cases, not bring in her empathy for the poor person, for example.”

Logo Refresh

The Times has an interesting little slide show of corporations doing a “logo refresh.” That’s graphic design speak for rehabilitating a corporate logo. Lots of market research is done to find the most pernicious way to trick people, er–I mean, communicate the essence of the company through bold, brilliant design.

A few years ago Wal-Mart’s logo may have projected strength and stability. But in a recession where job losses are in the millions and corporations are (rightly) vilified, Wal-Mart’s logo starts to resemble a Soviet force coming to town to hollow out small family-owned candy shops run on a modest profit for five generations. Time for a refresh.

Corporations need to soften their facade in this new era. Green and light blue are dominating as well as little explosions of color that clearly say “our corporate mission is fun, fun, fun.”

How can anyone object to this family-friendly logo propagating across the land? Its lower case letters emit calm and modesty. This could be the logo for a daycare center or brand of low-fat yogurt. It puts a smile on my face.

Sometimes new logos are rolled out and fans reject it. So loyal are consumers to a brand, so successful the original logo in filling their empty hearts, that a company may have to backtrack and scrap the hip new design. How would you like to wake up and find your spouse had a completely new fashion sense? Would you still love them? Maybe if they were the same on the inside. Only time will tell if the lower-case Walmart can once again captivate shoppers.

New ACLU comic

While gay rights advocates protested outside of a DNC fundraiser, Obama was inside with celebrities cracking jokes about not following through on his promises on gay rights. Not so funny to Lt. Dan Choi, an Iraq veteran and Arab language translator recently booted out of the army for being gay.

New Illos

Someone brought their baby, sick with chicken pox, to the local Mall so they could shop for clothes and infect everyone.

This guy likes to neglect his daughter and dog while having sex the whole apartment complex can hear. Seems like every apartment complex has at least one couple incapable of having sex at a reasonable decibel level.

You say Fajita…

We live in an age where the kind of cheese you buy can be viewed as a political act so it comes as no surprise that even the pronunciation of Sonia Sotomayor’s name is contentious. Is there any aspect of life that can escape left/right argumentation?

A douchebag at The National Review says Sotomayor doesn’t know how to pronounce her own name. He says stressing the last syllable of Sotomayor is “unnatural in English.” Apparently, the best approach would be to mangle the hell out of it with some hillbilly twang: SO-TOE-MAY-ER! Slap in some Billy Bob Teeth and lay it on thick to show them minorities how to speak proper ‘Merican.

You have no doubt heard the correct pronunciation from the President and any number of talking heads in the last two days. Chances are, you are capable of accomplishing this linguistic feat yourself.

But there is a left flank to the pronunciation wars as well. It mostly consists of educated white liberals suddenly adopting a thick accent when speaking a Spanish word: “I’m glad Obama chose a Latina for the Supreme Court. One with roots in Puerrrrto Rico, no less. Hey, I’m hungry. Let’s go to Chipotle and get a burrrrito!”

They speak most of the sentence in a Midwestern accent. Then, on the Spanish words, try to sound as if they were raised in the heart of Mexico City. This is generally done to make their friends feel less sophisticated and worldly while showing solidarity with all the Hispanic people they don’t know.

So get off the fence and choose a side! Learn to roll the fuck out of your R’s or start hickifying Spanish. Get all riled up and flustered when people pronounce things differently. Call them names. The future of Roe Vs. Wade could depend on it!

Lifetime Original

Naturally, people are seeking information on Sonia Sotomayor, Obama’s pick for the Supreme Court. There are some particularly controversial topics that need to be addressed 24 hours out from the announcement, such as who will play her in the biopic based on her inspirational life story and struggle against all odds and nasty GOP interest groups. Thankfully the Associated Press has addressed this pressing issue in an article that gives us a run-down of possible stars. Jennifer Lopez tops the list.

I’d like to cast Ron Perlman as Scalia, perhaps in Hellboy makeup for added effect.

Senators Make Rare Stand Against Jailing People

I wish I could say this comic was only about Republicans, but it’s not. Last week, Senators from both parties lined up to whine about putting Gitmo detainees in our massive city-sized Supermax prisons that cannot possibly be escaped from. These detainees are all docile and broken from years of torture and isolation, but lawmakers worry they’ll convert all the prisoners into raging hardcore Muslims that stab guards with shivs made from juice box straws.

In reality, Western prisons would break these guys faster than Mancow on a waterboard. In no time they’d be trading porno mags and getting sloshed on toilet hooch with the rest of the inmates. Then we will have won a massive psychological/cultural victory in the War On Terror.

But Harry Reid’s too much of a wuss to see things that way.

Portland Love

Oregon’s unemployment rate is rivaled only by Michigan, yet remains a desirable place to move for many youngsters. The Oregonian’s Anna Griffin wrote a column on the NY Time’s strange love affair with our city. And George Will’s column “Demon Denim” is worth a read, if only to marvel at his level of pampered snobbery. It’s no surprise that he also hates Portland.

Appreciation

These days, most of us are working longer hours for less pay. And we’re the lucky ones.

Comics

In a refreshing move, the latest issue of Harper’s contains cartoons from Ruben Bolling, David Reese and Ben Katchor. You can check them out here. Update: Oh, nevermind. They don’t let you see them unless you subscribe.

August Attacks

Oh snap.

What A Privilege

There’s a $13,000 internship position at the Huffington Post.

No, No. That’s what the intern paid to work there.

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