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Happy New Year.

I hope you have a job.

New Year

I stayed away from the news for a week and missed the outbreak of war–er, military operations, or whatever. I’ll never do this again!

Oh, and a new year is rapidly approaching. Let’s all draw an old man handing a baby an egg timer!

Mine would be Old Man Israel (OMI) handing Young Baby Israel (YBI) an hourglass that was labeled “Roadmap To Peace.” Naturally both would be wearing sashes that corresponded with their years (2008 and 2009 for those who don’t follow the years closely). Then YBI would say to OMI, “Can we put more sand in it?”

Brilliant, I know. I’m not sure how I come up with them–I just do.

Obama Derangement Syndrome

The Supreme Court recently rejected to hear a case that alleged Barack Obama forged his birth certificate. (Part of a Muslim plot, naturally.) One can only imagine what further nuttery will develop over the next four years.

Food Regulations

More Top Ten

Amazon’s Top Ten “Most Polarizing Books of 2008” has a puzzling entry. Here’s the top three:

Inauguration

It seemed fitting to bring back my god character during this time of year since his appearance is based on a certain jolly gift-bearing fellow.

Reason For The Season

Christmas. The time to celebrate the birth of Christ, acquire more possessions and drink copious amounts of Christmas Ale. I’m especially down with that last part.

As they say in the blogosphere: “blogging will be light over the holidays.” I’m visiting Ohio for the first time since I moved to Portland two years ago.

Have a Merry Christmas, or if you prefer, a Happy Thursday.

Wednesday: Obama’s Special Guest

God’s Lunch Counter

The official policy on homosexuality from the Saddleback Church’s website:

It’s not judgmental to say that what the Bible calls a sin is a sin, that’s just telling the truth.
(…)
Because membership in a church is an outgrowth of accepting the Lordship and leadership of Jesus in ones life, someone unwilling to repent of their homosexual lifestyle would not be accepted at a member at Saddleback Church. That does not mean they cannot attend church we hope they do!

Top Ten

OK, putting together a real top ten list of cartoons from 2008 is taking longer than I though so I’m giving up. But I am going to create one next year. It will be easier to pick them out as I go along instead of going through everyone’s archives.

But here’s a tip for TIME. If your list doesn’t have at least a few of the following people, you are doing something wrong: Clay Bennett, Pat Oliphant, Ruben Bolling, Tom Toles, Jen Sorensen, Mike Lester, Ted Rall, Ben Sargent, Jeff Danziger, Lloyd Dangle, Joel Pett and many others.

Mailbag: War and Peace edition

Uh-oh. Some e-mails are coming in about my tirade against Obama yesterday. Let’s pull one up from reader EH:

I hope this email doesn’t land me a spot on “doucebags from the mailbag.”

Ha! Just as I thought! Landing a spot in Mailbag Douchebags is a fear of letter writers across the internet.

I am a supporter of gay rights and gay marriage. That being said, I can’t pretend like this is the most important issue at the moment. When the conservatives were in power, these social issues were convenient distractions…Now that they’re not in power, they’ll use these social issues every chance they get to hamstring Obama and any chance at even incrementally progressive legislation.

In Obama’s quote, you saw nothing but naked political ambition. But I saw a weary realism – an acknowledgement that if he gives his opponents the opportunity, then they’ll prefer to attack him instead of working together to address the most serious problems of the day.

There’s a reason I’m a political cartoonist instead of a politician. The election strategy of the Democratic party isn’t something I care about–it’s something I mock. I’m tired of waiting for everyone to come around to sensible positions. Full rights should be granted to all of our citizens before you finish reading this sentence. Nope, it didn’t happen. I’m mad about that.

So as much as I hate to defend Warren, whose views on social issues are repugnant, he’s fairly correct on issues dealing with poverty and the environment. It pains me to say it, but I think that this is the type of person Obama needs to court at the moment – prominent conservatives who can actually give him credibility on the life or death issues of the moment.

I’m proud that the left tries to hold our politicians to their promises and their constituencies. But, jesus, he’s not even in office, yet. [what about the "office" of the president-elect?--ed.] Warren is not an appointment, and this is not a policy decision on Obama’s part. Can we at least wait until he does something that has ACTUAL ramifications, instead of just implications?

It’s true that this isn’t a huge issue. It’s not a policy position. It still sends a message. Gays supported him in large numbers and it’s insulting to pick a divisive pastor for this innocuous role.

Obama will be the most GLBT-friendly President in our history. But it’s 2008 and I’m not going to give him a treat for believing gays are deserving of respect. If he thinks he’s a “fierce advocate” for them, he should abolish Don’t Ask Don’t Tell and DOMA on Day 1 of his presidency instead of praying to God with Rick Warren.

He should be explaining to Americans why gay marriage is not harmful to them–not reinforcing their belief that marriage is between a man and a woman. As President he could vocally support same-sex marriage initiatives when they come up. Instead, he will most likely ride the fence and say “those people in that state should decide for themselves.”

Oh, and I’ll make a prediction: Obama will have a change of heart on same-sex marriage. Sometime after 2016. Maybe he’ll make a documentary like Al Gore.

There is just a tiny bit of irony in such a forthright atheist complaining about the choice of minister.

You got me. Hey, I’d have Christopher Hitchens give the invocation while drunk if it was my inauguration.

(Did you make it to the end of this blog post? You deserve a prize.)

Obama Has Gay Friends

After choosing a pious anti-gay pastor/self-help author for the inaugural invocation (during which time we are supposed to pray that the creator of the universe guides our president), Barack Obama lied while defending his decision:

I am fierce advocate for equality for gay and — well, let me start by talking about my own views. I think it is no secret that I am a fierce advocate for equality for gay and lesbian Americans.

If Obama is a “fierce advocate” for gay equality, then it’s the best kept secret in Washington. In fact, Obama believes gays should remain second class citizens and don’t deserve full marriage rights. Like Rick Warren, he thinks marriage is a sacred bond between a man and a woman. He might be friendlier to gays, he might not think they are evil, but the results are the same: no gay marriage.

In 2007 Obama told us what he thinks about the activists who tirelessly work to achieve the rights he takes for granted:

..it would be extraordinarily difficult and distracting to try to build a consensus around marriage for gays and lesbians.

Gays Rights are a distraction. I suppose he means a distraction to his political ambitions. What a “fierce advocate.”

Two Questions

Are we headed into a depression?

When does Cheney’s war crimes trial start?