Barf bags with Arnold Schwarzenegger quotes on them!
Next: "It's not a tumor! It's air sickness!"
In case of an emergency, hurt your child.
Looks cute, huh? Try sitting next to this girl for a few thousand miles. I propose "Kid Class" for the back of the plane with some sort of sound-proof barrier so people who want to read, sleep and be generally pleasant can enjoy their flight.
I know "First Class" passengers get seated and served drinks before those in "C.H.U.D Class" are allowed on, but has anyone ever heard of "Breezeway" boarding? Maybe this is old news, but Delta had a separate boarding lane for rich people with a nice rug with "Breezeway" written in a breezy italicized font. The idea is if you are in First Class and don't bother boarding when you are supposed to because you want to finish your cocktail in the bar, you can use the Breezeway lane to bypass the hundred or so people waiting in line and hop on real quick. Why not make a staircase out of kneeling coach passengers for a few extra bucks?