Bors Blog

Carbon Neutral Warfare

Can we curb our environmentally destructive way of waging war and forge a sustainable future for our military? I have a new on page comic in the Boston Phoenix that answers the question.

The Myopic Madness of Rudy Giuliani

Rudy Giuliani is trying to milk 9/11 sympathy and fear even more than Bush. He may even make a worse President, what with his penchant for police crackdowns and anti-art authoritarianism. In my view, censoring art in an unforgivable offense on par with War Crimes. I’d like to see an international tribunal established to try, and possibly execute, offenders.

After 9/11, he was declared “America’s Mayor,” for his alleged leadership that day. This is another issue I’m planning on taking up soon in a cartoon.

Don’t forget! You can purchase collections of my strips in the store.

Creationist Retards

My friends at BEAST magazine infiltrated the recent opening of a creationist “museum” in Kentucky. (One of my recent comics was inspired by the opening of this craptastic place). These people think Dinosaurs not only lived with man, but survived on the ark and have only recently gone extinct.

Clearly these people are lacking all their mental faculties. What could they do to test their ability to believe anything? They created a fake website to obtain press passes ,www.thespecialtimes.com, A Christian lifestyle journal for and by the developmentally disabled, then sent “Dougie,” who suffers from “Aspergers Syndrome by Proxy” in to interview the famous christian apologist Ken Ham, who makes a nice living lying to children. There’s an article, but even better is a YouTube video of the interview. Watching it, it’s hard to tell who’s acting more retarded.

War Is Interesting

David Axe and I have a new three page comic, East Timor Is A Riot, in the current issue of Vice Magazine. Pick up a copy.

My collaborator has been blogging extensively at www.warisboring.com about his latest travels in Afghanistan and we will have comics coming on those soon enough. He will return in time to take part in a panel discussion at the AAEC convention next week in DC called What’s So Funny About War, along with Ted Rall, Signe Wilkinson, and Scott Stantis.

Also, War Is Boring #14 is now up.

Announcement: New Comic!

View my latest comic for the ACLU Sex Ed’s Abstinence Only Class. This is my fifth and final one pager for them (I was contracted for six. One was killed and ran in the Boston Phoenix).

But more exciting things are in the works. I have just finished up talks to create a bi-weekly comic strip exclusively for the ACLU’s website that will focus on, you guessed it, Civil Liberty issues. Expect to start seeing the strips at the beginning of August. You’ll be notified here first (as opposed to some other dude’s website).

Snail Mail Indeed

Have any important documents to send to a Senator? Perhaps a petition for an upcoming Bill? Don’t bother. This is part of a message from a Senator’s aide:

Ever since the anthrax attacks, our mail has been irradiated. This means we get it as much as 2 months late, and it has been cooked. Colored documents are particularly at risk – they wound up stuck together and impossible to separate. I do not advise sending anything by mail.

Bobby Cutts–The Bors Connection

If I here a newscaster say “Mommy in the rug” one more time. Will this two year old child who witnessed his mother being killed be brought to testify, under oath with God as his witness, in the biggest murder trial since OJ busted out the cutlery? Is he reliable–has he lied in the past? Can he hold up to a vicious cross examination?

These are the questions Americans everywhere are asking themselves.

I was thinking the whole pregnant woman who was killed in my hometown story would be over now that there has been an arrest. Even the deep cynicism, ingrained in my DNA, couldn’t prepare me for my daily dose of television news while eating my little lunch.

I keep seeing people I know on TV. Downtown vagabonds, prosecutors, half of the cops I’m seeing I recognize having chased me during my skateboarding days. I’m waiting to see Officer Silver, my grade school D.A.R.E. instructor, jump out and say “crime doesn’t pay kids!” What is happening?

It was FOX (my preferred station), Studio B with the Shep. I watched stunned for 15 minutes while they covered an arraignment to set bond (5 mil). Nothing happened. Bond was set. See ya at the trial. No really. It went like this: silence, silence, guy walks up behind glass, silence, silence, judge says “bond is set at five million,” guy leaves. Two on scene reporters gave 3 minute monologues detailing the feelings in the courtroom, facial twitches, and after arraignment gossip (Tensions were high).

I gathered myself, and sure that it was another FOX News anomaly switched stations. CNN, MSNBC, all non-stop coverage of nothing. You’d think the Trade Towers fell. But no, a bond was set.

Another thought: Bobby Cutts, the accused. A very villainous name. Not in a James Bond villain kind of way, but a WWE villain kind of way. Very Cantonian.

Oh yeah, so the title of this post. What’s my connection to this whole thing?

There’s not a lot of black cops in Canton. Is this the guy that used to cruise up on me and my friends while we were skateboarding Downtown to kick us off of GE’s property? Did a 13 year old Bors defy the orders of future killer Bobby Cutts? My memory is hazy. I’ll go with “yes” and make recounting stories of my youth more entertaining.

Science Idol

The Union of Concerned Scientists is having a cartoon contest called “Science Idol” to choose comics for their 2008 calender. My submission has been chosen as a finalist by their panel, but the ultimate winner will decided by internet voting and the person with the most myspace friends.

Please go look at all the finalists and vote for your favorite.

I also need your help in the Lambda Legal “Life Without Fair Courts” Contest. My comic has been chosen as a finalist and the winner is again being determined by internet voting. If you haven’t already done so, please go over and vote for your favorite entry.

The Marlboro Journal of Medicine

click to enlarge

This cartoon is running in the opinion section today of the Birmingham News. The blurb appearing under the comic explains it a bit more.

A bill before Congress would let the Food and Drug Administration regulate tobacco products but not permit it to ban the sale or promotion of cigarettes. The bill is likely to come up for a committee vote in the Senate in July. Dr. Alan Blum, director of the University of Alabama Center for the Study of Tobacco and Society, testified against the bill at the committee’s hearing earlier this year. Blum worked with cartoonist Matt Bors of Portland, Ore., to shed light on the bill’s glaring inconsistencies and the strange bedfellows who are supporting it. E-mail:ablum@cchs.ua.edu.

Putting the cigarettes under the FDA doesn’t make sense to me (or Alan Blum, who commissioned this strip). The “Drug” part of FDA applies to medicine, not things like alcohol or tobacco. If they applied the same standards that they do to evaluating the safety of medicine, what conclusion could they possibly come to other than banning cigarettes entirely? That obviously isn’t going to happen (nor should it).

Instead we have a situation where people will be buying “FDA approved” smokes while other brands are banned by arbitrary standards involving the packaging and marketing of the cigarettes instead of the actual result of using the products. Just to be clear, I am in favor of certain restrictions on Tobacco’s claims and advertising–anyone who knows me is aware of my loathing f0r this product. This Bill is just misguided.

Don’t let anyone ever say that Democrats or Liberal leaning interest groups don’t give bills deceitful titles: The Family Smoking Prevention and Tobacco Control Act. You see, by putting cigarettes under the FDA we will protect families from smoking. Not any individuals, single people, couples, or orphans. families.

Democrats and Republicans have split according to party lines; Democrats want to look like they are doing something to save the children and Republicans oppose putting any industry under regulation regardless of its merits.

As Dr. Blum said in his testimony against this Bill to the Senate Committee on Health, Education, Labor, and Pensions:

The proposed FDA bill will simply change who is committing consumer fraud. Currently, its still the tobacco companies, marketing reduced tar and nicotine cigarettes in a way that deceives consumers into believing that these products are safer. If the FDA bill is enacted, then the government will be doing the dirty work for the tobacco companies. Small wonder why Philip Morris embraces this bill, which will permit it to tell consumers that it is complying with strict product safety standards, making government-approved cigarettes.

—–
Check back regularly this week. I’m going to be releasing a bunch of new comics.

Time Hates the Whale

Time magazine’s Tom Bevan has denounced fellow CWA member Brian McFadden as “sick” and “unfunny.” What a great quote for the next book jacket!

Hats off to Brian for this wonderful achievement!

(via AAN)

Missing Woman Syndrome

Looks like my hometown of Canton, Ohio is the victim of the media’s latest obsession with a missing woman. All of the media’s favorite juicy elements are involved: she was pregnant and had interracial relationships. It’s pretty surreal to see the lines of volunteers trudging through your old stomping grounds on Fox News looking for her –my Mom even took part!

It’s of course a tragedy and worthy news in Canton, but I fail to see how this is National News. I’m hearing reports back home of what a circus it is with the media everywhere. The fact that it’s on TV drives more and more volunteers to show up, resulting in thousands of eager seachers. With more people than search area, they comb residential neighborhoods in lines 20 feet apart as if expecting to find a body abandoned on a public sidewalk that people failed to notice for seven days.

Update: Just after I posted I called my Mom for the latest. Apparently, she made it on CNN yesterday to give her expert opinion. She couldn’t talk long because she was on a bus crammed with volunteers heading out to search another field. Search it good, ma!

Rambo V: Grapes of Wrath

After seeing that insanely violent John Rambo trailer, I found this joke in the long list that I use to illustrate the Weekly Woof, a comic I do for a kid’s site. It’s not too often you can find a way to get paid drawing a grape shooting a machine gun. I would say it may even be a once in a lifetime accomplishment.