Bors Blog

Mind Go Boom

2008-05-16T14:08:00.003-04:00

NARAL's endorsement of Obama has caused a stir from people who get upset when groups don't endorse the candidate they prefer. From the NYTimes:

The endorsement also drew a rebuke from Emily’s List, which endorses only women who support abortion rights and which has endorsed Mrs. Clinton. Ellen R. Malcolm, the president, said in a statement that it was “tremendously disrespectful” of Naral not to give Mrs. Clinton “the courtesy to finish the final three weeks of the primary process.”

There's about two or three things in that paragraph that blew my mind.

How To Be An Editorial Cartoonist

2008-05-16T13:50:00.003-04:00

Taking a common metaphor or expression, labeling it, and then putting a caption explaining it has got to be one of the most frustrating things editorial cartoonists rely on. The need to caption something so obvious--the visual equivalent of hitting someone in the face with a sledgehammer--either shows a contempt for your audience or a startling level of insecurity in the artist.

Two well respected cartoonists, Dick Locher and this year's Pulitzer winner Michael Ramirez, have done good examples of this lately.

Locher draws "A Fly in the Ointment" with Jimmy Carter's head on the fly. Ramirez does a "Bats in the Belfry" comic with Iran and Hezbollah. I don't find either of the cartoons that good, but they could be improved by a factor of ten by simply removing the caption from the bottom and letting us figure it out for ourselves.

Monday: Lesser Known Voting Blocs

Knight Life

2008-05-15T17:12:00.001-04:00

Fellow CWA member Keith Knight launched a daily auto-bio strip this month with United Feature Syndicate called "The Knight Life" I thought I'd plug. It's sort of a daily version of
his weekly "K Chronicles" strip but will most likely never feature him smoking crack with god, who appeared as a hamster. Despite that, it looks promising.

Copying Your Own Turd

2008-05-15T13:45:00.003-04:00

Jeff Darcy combines two of the worst cliches today: The Fat Lady Singing and using American Idol as a metaphor for the presidential race. His Hillary caricature is good--I'm not sure why he needs to label her.

(click here to view)

Jeff Darcy
The Plain Dealer
May 15, 2008

EditorialCartoonists.com

But I thought it looked familiar. Indeed, Jeff was just regurgitating a concept he used only a week earlier!

In case you didn't know the fat viking lady opera singer was a "fat lady singing," he wrote it across her expansive chest.

(click here to view)

Jeff Darcy
The Plain Dealer
May 8, 2008

EditorialCartoonists.com

Isn't this where the Editor steps in and asks for a different concept? Jeff, when she finally bows out let's not "beat a dead horse" and do the opera gag again, ok?

Huff and Puff

2008-05-14T02:43:00.001-04:00

Arianna Huffington has been flogging her claim that McCain didn't vote for Bush in 2000 since last week when she put it as the top story on her website (the ad for her hot-off-the-press book nearby urged you to click and "learn the truth" about McCain). Others at the dinner party have said it's true while McCain denies it. He said/She said. Need proof? No, just a blog.

It's not like a single vote, taken by itself, matters...and fresh off the racist smear campaign in the South Carolina primary I can't blame the man if he wrote in his own name.

I don't really see how it's that big of a deal, especially coming from Arianna, who has been taking the media to task over the last few months for focusing on ridiculous "character questions" that don't relate to issues.

But McCain's character is a big issue to her. She was a right-winger and lapped up McCain's claims of political purity until a few years ago. His embrace of Bush was a selling out of his principles, the story goes, so it's no longer acceptable to treat him as a maverick. Before it was OK.

"He's a war hero! He was tortured!" she exclaimed recently on The Colbert Report. But the John McCain of 2000 isn't on the ballot this time--he's changed, she informed those who weren't aware. Question: If he was, would that be a good thing? Was the McCain that she adored such a great guy?

I always thought the "Straight Talk Express" was a joke from the get-go not something that recently became hilarious.

Friday: How To Be A Hack

Turd of the Day

2008-05-13T12:33:00.002-04:00

(out of four)

Today's cartoon by Gordon Campbell is such a piece of crap I feel the need to remark. First, the concept is complete hackery. Fortune cookies are supposed to tell the future, not things currently happening--it doesn't make sense.

The visual implies the only thing he even knows about Chinese people is that they put a fortune cookie in your Chow Mein at the Chinese take out place down the street from his office. Couldn't he come up with a better way to say "There was an Earthquake is China"? Since people already know that what's the point of this comic? In case you haven't turned on a television or looked at a newspaper, he was nice enough to write "China" on the cookie. This looks like an illustration that would accompany an article about the earthquake, not an editorial cartoon--it adds no commentary, no opinion, and no joke. Nothing. It shouldn't exist.

The font is horrible. The gradient is horrible. It contains no drawing whatsoever. Where did he get the image from? The very first result in a Google image search for "fortune cookie." Although he has mastered Photoshop enough to flip the original image.

Are there any standards in this profession?

(click here to view)

Gordon Campbell
Freelance
May 13, 2008

EditorialCartoonists.com

Where Are They Now?

2008-05-13T01:11:00.003-04:00

The other night I caught a few minutes of wrestling on the tube. It reminded me of when I was in second grade and got really into wrestling for about six months. I wondered, what ever happened to the Ultimate Warrior? He was some bad ass dude that was wrecking everyone in the WWF at the time but didn't stick around to do Slim Jim commercials or get his own reality show.

So I googled him and it turns out he's making his living as a right-wing motivational speaker. He has a blog, naturally. He deems it so in-your-face aggressive that he has a corny warning before you enter.

I express my opinions in a mature, bold, blunt, and politically-incorrect fashion...

I am also NOT confused about my gender. I have no desire to tone down the nature of the sex I am. I am a male and am proud to be a man. I will often forcefully punctuate my points and positions on ideas and issues with manly language. I make no apologies.

Ug! Ultimate Warrior no like PC!

WARNING: forceful, manly punctuation ahead...very manly...

you've been warned....

!Aaargh!!@#!!Muscle!!@#!$!! Penis!!!

...

There, I feel better now. Obviously VH1 needs to follow Flavor of Love and Rock of Love with The Ultimate Warrior of Love. Really. I'd watch it.

The Market Has Spoken

2008-05-12T20:06:00.002-04:00

The Hillary Clinton Nutcracker is now 50% off in DC airports.

Programming Note

2008-05-12T16:44:00.002-04:00

The latest ACLU strip won't be up until next week. I guess they're launching all this important new stuff this week so I've taken a backseat.

Also, I will be presenting a slideshow of my work for their membership conference next month in DC. Scalia has been known to shown up in the past.

Clintonian

2008-05-12T01:08:00.003-04:00

At this point I'm not even sure Hillary will deliver a concession speech.

Here's an e-mail from a very nice woman named Pam who took time out of her day to inform me about her rather insane views:

The press seems to handle Obama with kid gloves ...He certainly has become “One of Them” – a Washington Politician at his best. I am so surprised that he is able to pull the wool over people’s eyes with “eloquent”?? speaches that say nothing of substance. Maybe a cartoon on how he expressly opposed new primaries in Michigan and florida. His fear of a new vote and his unwillingness to debate Hillary show his weakness and disregard for the American people and his high regard for himself – arrogant and elitist – Jim Jones also created a mass of followers by his words – any resemblence to Obama?

If he does steal the nomination from Hillary, I will choose to either not vote or vote for mccain who I think is the lesser of two evils. At least McCain’s patriotism and his love of America has never come into question.

I get these kind of e-mails a lot. Why aren't you being harder on so and so? Why aren't you spreading the message about the shadow government's involvement with 9/11? Why aren't you using your cartooning abilities to address the very issues I obsess over everyday?

Wednesday: Huffington Post

News Dying--No, Actually Living!

2008-05-12T00:55:00.005-04:00

How this for putting a positive spin on the slow death of print: The Portland Tribune, a free metro paper published twice a week, will be going down to a single printed paper available on Thursdays. What's interesting is that they are announcing this by claiming they are now in fact a daily paper.

Join us each day at www.portlandtribune.com and each Thursday at more than 2,400 locations and green newsstands around Portland.

After all, it is your town and it is your paper – the Portland Tribune – now daily.

Going weekly is going daily...if you post the stories appearing in the print paper slowly throughout the week.

Adding: Writer Kevin Allman follows this stuff and notes how they even spin it as part of the green revolution!

Pandering In Oregon

2008-05-11T16:43:00.000-04:00

Appearing today in The Oregonian.

Turdblossom

2008-05-08T23:29:00.002-04:00

It's true: A group in San Francisco wants to name their sewage treatment plant after W. It's amusing but isn't it insulting to the people who run that place properly? What if someone named your place of work after Bush? Would it make you proud? It's shitty work but there are people who labor day in and day out to make sure turds don't come out of our faucets--a very important piece of the whole "civilization" thing. Let's not piss these people of.

Monday: The god forsaken Hillary campaign

Mail Bag Douchebag

2008-05-07T12:22:00.004-04:00

An Air Force Major at the Pentagon (seriously) writes in:

I realize from the tone of your cartoons, you are not of the belief that those who know how to create wealth should be trusted with the resources to do that.

I have a great idea…please push for the American people to elect socialists to power.

The e-mail then goes on for about 1200 words with a litany of suggestions for my theoretical socialist regime. If I posted the whole thing you'd get bored and go away. Here's some tidbits.

...We can also ban all imports from countries that compete with our own products...we will need to reduce the size of the military by about half...released from the mental institutions...A person's economic success is in their hands...

Then, finally, the point:

When you and your palls [sic] can get this done and after four years of living under a socialist regime, let us know whether you still have your Marxist beliefs about "the rich."

We only get four years? I thought he'd at least grant me the customary Marxist five year plan thing. It's refreshing to know that top brass at the Pentagon spend their mornings composing long e-mails to cartoonists that sound like rants from a FOX News host.

I'm flattered, but isn't he supposed to be doing something important with his time at work? It's almost like he's part of some inefficient big government bureaucracy that needs reform...

Mixed Messages

2008-05-07T03:34:00.003-04:00

PAPV (People Against Pixel Violence) are out in full force now that Grand Theft Auto 4 has been released. Crime rates are up, children are dropping out of school and a new generation has been introduced to violence, sex and swear words--things you just can't find anywhere else in the Internet age.

I got news for PAPV. These days kids can type before talk. They're stealing vicodin from you and are on the web watching 2 girls 1 cup and erasing the search history and cookies before you even get home from work. GTA 4 is the least of your worries.

Sometimes people say things that perfectly demonstrate the bizarre moral character of our society. Patrick Lynch, President of the NYC Patrolmen's Benevolent Association, is that person today.

As far as I can tell, I'm the only person who's connected the two quotes, made within a few days of each other. I guess spending my days scouring the web for cartoon fodder has its rewards.

Friday: poop.

Hillary's Latest Qualification

2008-05-06T14:49:00.002-04:00

She can drink a senior citizen under the table.

In Heaven as it is on Earth

2008-05-05T14:14:00.005-04:00

The Nation just sent out this e-mail:

Imagine this...

Sunday...dinner with The Reverend Jesse Jackson.

Monday...an intimate acoustic concert with Jackson Browne.

Tuesday...Relaxing on the beach in Curacao next to Jeremy Scahill.

Wednesday Night...at the blackjack table with Victor Navasky.

Thursday...cocktails with Katrina vanden Heuvel.

What's going on here? Did you die and go to heaven?

No, that's what you'll find on this year's Nation Magazine Seminar Cruise to the Caribbean.

Sounds heavenly. I know I've had dreams about that exact week long itinerary.

My question: Does everyone on the trip get to relax next to Jeremy Scahill on the beach in Curacao? And will there be an opportunity to rub sun screen all over his muckraking physique? There's only so much Scahill to go around. These lefty mags never get supply and demand, do they?

Grumpy Bear

2008-05-05T02:37:00.004-04:00

Pundits are wondering why Obama sat in his church for 20 years listening to this guy. I wonder why anyone sits in a church any amount of time listening to anyone. I'm looking forward to the day when the most media coverage a "Man Of The Cloth™" can get is an item on the local news lamenting the fact that they are still yelling at pedestrians from their street corner pulpit every morning.

I'm just kidding folks! Didn't mean to come off as a crotchety elitist atheist there. I hope religion flourishes, OK?

Of course, asking why a liberal black politician in Chicago attended the largest liberal black church for twenty years is a a question that seems to answer itself. But what if Obama had maintained his status as a non-believer to this day? After all, he was raised in a secular household and only managed to find a reason to believe that Jesus died for his sins around the time he became involved in politics.

Wait--how dare I make that inference!

Conversions happen all the time though and I don't know what's in his heart. Maybe Reverend Wright is really good at convincing Harvard Law School grads that Jesus was born of a virgin. But what if he never was religious and simply replied to questions about his faith by saying that he doesn't believe in a creator?

I think we'd see that in this country trying to get into office with a belief in the Big Bang and a little bit of chance would be more controversial than a pastor hollering about AIDS being created by the government.

Call me crazy.

My previous cartoon with Obama and the Care Bears can be seen here.

Wednesday: Sean Bell outraged over Grand Theft Auto 4

Your Way Right Away

2008-05-04T17:32:00.002-04:00

From a recent article in the New Yorker about Gitmo by Jeffery Toobin:

[Guantánamo Task Force Admiral Mark Buzby] noted that the detainees’ interrogation sessions were sometimes catered by the base’s fast-food outlets. “They want those Subway sandwiches!” he said. “Sometimes they just want to talk. Meanwhile, he’s chomping on his Subway B.M.T. It’s all about that give-and-take and that rapport-building. We still get regular questions in for us to ask from the front in the field. We’ll show him a map: ‘Thanks a lot, have a Big Mac.’”

Maybe a detainee could replace Jared as the new Subway spokesman.

Trees Have Rights?

2008-05-04T17:10:00.004-04:00

Appearing today in The Oregonian.

Don't let it be said I can't poke fun at environmentalism. A Portland City Commissioner has been lambasted recently, mostly by the right, for suggesting our trees should have rights--most notably, old growth trees having the "right" not to be cut down. While I think it's fine to reasonably preserve old growth trees in city limits, saying it is because they have an inherent right to exist opens it up for some funny extensions of that logic and conflicts with my idea of what rights actually are and where they come from (note: it's not god giving us carte blanche dominion).

The Oregonian's conservative columnist David Reinhard wrote about it today:

If trees have rights, on what philosophical grounds can we deny shrubs, bushes and rocks rights? They can be as "incredible" and "show-stopping" as a mighty oak, a towering elm or a broad maple. If you go in for extending rights to nonhumans, isn't Saltzman guilty a kind of speciesism?
Or some other "isms"? Lookism and ageism? After all, it's hard to believe that Saltzman wants each and every tree to have rights. It's likely that only gorgeous trees will get them. Or heritage trees that, as Saltzman said, "have been there long before us." But shouldn't plain or young trees have rights, too? At least in the moral universe of our Thomas Jefferson of trees?

The punchline refers to a recent dispute about renaming a road after Ceaser Chavez that brought the city to DEFCON 2 levels of confrontation. Talking about which letters get grafted to a tin sign apparently riles folks up. So do trees.

Back To The Issues

2008-05-02T21:15:00.004-04:00

So there's that video from the 90s where some campaign guy for Clinton was supposed to say something racist and everybody flipped out for a couple of hours, but now it seems to be fake. I listened to Ed Schultz today and he was ranting and raving about how this is a "shocking revelation" and that Hillary Clinton needs to publicly explain why this guy on her husband's campaign may have said the "n-word" in 1992. A very pressing matter, to be sure. I'm doing some polling on it tonight to see how many people switched to Obama because of it.

Something else in the video struck me as offensive and that was George Stephanopolous's jean jacket. IT'S HORRID. What is Hillary's position on this? I'm no high-paid radio host or pundit but I think she need to distance herself from it. This is very off putting to many Americans. We'd like to put that era behind us. The 90s was not a good time for everything, Mrs. Clinton.

My video analysts tell me this is NOT doctored. 100% real. I think Obama's people dug this up to embarrass George. He looks so boyish.

Let's talk about it non-stop for the next five weeks.

Holy Water

2008-05-02T14:57:00.003-04:00

I picked up a bottle of the awesomely named "H2Oregon" water which claims to be the "Best Pure Water On Earth!" It's quite a boast but just look at all the processes they employ to ensure a high quality water drinking experience.

Read it out loud. Pretty impressive. They forgot one thing: infusing it with the blessing of Peter Popoff!

100 Year Peace

2008-05-02T02:03:00.003-04:00

John McCain has said we may be in Iraq for one hundred, perhaps even a million years. But don't worry--it'll be a peaceful occupation. Interesting sales pitch.

Monday: The Care Bears Return!

Chuck E. Cheese's

2008-04-30T00:04:00.003-04:00

Most administration officials retire into cushy lobbying jobs for missile makers or a spot on the board of Conglomo Corp. General Tommy Franks has joined the Board of Directors for Chuck E. Cheese's. I'm not sure if that's moving up or down in the world. Richard Frank, CEC CEO:

"General Franks' experience of managing operations and developing strategy will be invaluable to our board and company...General Franks' international background and relationships will complement our efforts to grow our business and increase shareholder value."

Running the invasions of Afghanistan and Iraq are certainly interesting bullet points to have on one's resume, though I do wonder how they translate to running a pizza joint where some unfortunate shlup sweats it out in a rat costume for $7 an hour. I guess they figure if he survived Iraq he can handle their hellish franchise. Let's hope thousands of children don't die this time.

Civil Discourse

2008-04-28T16:44:00.002-04:00

cross-posted at ACLU blog

My latest Civil Discourse comic tackles the government's "Terrorist Watch List" which has almost million names. Who's on it? Toddlers, dead people, congressmen, and Iraq War vets. You know, the people most likely to harm America. See the ACLU's watch list counter for more info.

Common names like "Robert Johnson" are listed without specific details. So far, 12 Robert Johnsons report being interrogated at airports. In an attempt to find the elusive John William Anderson they detained a six year old. Sometimes you really can be too careful.

The artist formerly known as Cat Stevens changed his name to Yusuf Islam. That's too Islam-y for the government so he's on the list as well. (He should change it to an unpronounceable symbol, like Prince did, just to mess with them). Were he to be allowed on a flight, the coach section could spontaneously break out into a rendition of "Peace Train." The airline industry is suffering enough. We don't need anyone reminding them of trains at this point--especially peaceful ones.